Adams Down Under

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Friday, May 26, 2006

Célia Marie and the Attack of the Bedtime Beasties


Once upon a time in a kingdom far away to the sunny South, there lived a young, naïve couple with a beautiful daughter. Said the innocent father to his wife, “O darling of mine. O love of my life. How my heart rejoices to know that we are fortunate enough to have a beautiful daughter who cries little and sleeps deeply! Truly, she is an angel in the guise of a baby girl.”

“Yes, my cherished one”, said the modest, dutiful wife as she took her beloved by the hand and looked tenderly into his eyes. “There never was a more serenely marvelous child born to mortal parents.”

They then passed the next hour or so in typical, chaste, marital bliss.

Unbeknownst to the young, naïve couple, troubles were at the door, for as they were too distracted by each other’s eyes, they missed seeing two blue bedtime beasties floating at the window.

The larger of the two, named Glub, turned to his companion. “Hrumph! Never in all my immortal days of eavesdropping and mischief-making have I seen a family so well-rested and bright-eyed! It is an affront to all I hold unsacred! Come Bulg. We can’t just float here and do nothing. The Blue Bedtime Beasty law and my own greasy gut force us to action this very night!”

Later that evening, when the angel was lying in her crib playing with her teddy bear and thinking of how beautiful her mother is, into her room snuck Glub and Bulg. They squeezed under the door and stealthily wafted over to her side. “Look at this human-child, will you Glub?!”, buzzed Bulg into Glub’s blue beasty ear. “Have you ever seen such perfect skin and such chubby arms?” “No, I never have” answered Glub, and he pushed Bulg away because it always tickled to have someone buzz in his ear. “Now quit your blue beasty buzzing! We have work to do.” And with that pronouncement they each bit her once, just above the elbow, and flew off into the night.

The little angel smiled and gurgled as she watched them float away.

Now as you may well know, the blue bedtime beasty’s bite, much like that of its distant cousin the mosquito, can create a remarkable change in a victim. While a mosquito’s malaria will leave one feeling chilled and very tired, the beasty’s bite renders one easily excitable and violently opposed to anything remotely related to sleep. Other than time, there is no known cure for this ailment.

And as the story draws to a close, we see that the ragged, world-wise couple have plenty of time late at night to contemplate their former fortune and an eventual return to innocence and bliss.


The End.