Cyrus Samuel Adams

Greetings to the faithful worldwide readership of the award-winning Adams Down Under (ADU) blog.  No doubt you have been breathlessly waiting for the next installment in our Pulitzer-worthy investigative reporting and celebrity rumour-mongering, including the behind-the-scenes look at the next Squeaker and the Bug blockbuster or the Adams Family New Year’s Beach Bash. 

Well your prayers and patience have not been in vain!  The intrepid reporters of the ADU blog were able to obtain (at considerable cost) ultrasound photos of what appears to be a baby boy, clearly attributed to a Mrs. Carolyn Adams. 

Realizing that acknowledging the veracity of these photos would only feed the media frenzy sure to arise at the announcement of his birth, Brian and Carolyn were quick to squelch any questions.  Said mother Carolyn, “If we were to have a son, and I’m not saying that we are, we would most likely name him in memory of his great-grandfather Cyrus Samuel Adams.  A wonderful man who was an example of gentle strength to many and who showed great love for and faith in Brian through many challenges.  But that is only hypothetical, of course.” 

“No comment” was all the father would say when asked if the pictures were of his son.  He then commenced to puff out his chest and swagger out of the room. 

But not everyone is shouting “Halleluiah!”  For example, Dick McDastardly, believed to be one of the many suitors spurned by Carolyn once she met the man of her dreams, released this recorded statement to the press only minutes ago: “IF the child is truly the son of Carolyn and [unintelligible cough] Adams, then there is cause for great rejoicing, for the world is certain to be a better place.  But I urge the public to practice caution and restraint so as not to be disappointed once the truth comes out.  Because it will!  And in the interest of truth, might I point out two sobering facts as to why I doubt that these pictures represent any son of [coughing fit] Adams?  First, Mr. Adams has not heretofore shown himself capable of siring male offspring, so why should we think that suddenly things have changed?  Second, the child clearly has only five fingers on its hand.” 

These are very good points so a rejoinder was sought.  An anonymous source close to the family quickly rose to their defense in saying, “Hey, there’s a first time for everything, right?  And perhaps the boy takes after Carolyn's side of the family.” 

Certainly the truth will eventually be known.  In the meantime, how will the cosmopolitan couple handle being outnumbered by their offspring?  How will the mercurial superstarlets of the Adams Family respond to sharing the limelight?  Will Squeaker and the Bug become the Three Amigos?  Or will they find that ‘two’s company, but three’s a crowd’?

Stay tuned as the drama and excitement unfold!